The New Normal?

The mask of friendliness, the mask of kindness

We have been wearing these for a while

But never will we learn to wear

The mask that saves our lives

Cover your noses and mouths

Cover lest the pathogen thrives

But our noses have always cheated

Sniffing into others personal lives

Wash hands with soaps and sanitizers

Kill the virus and save the game

Well doesn’t this sound familiar?

Washing our hands and passing the blame

Social distancing is the new normal

Oh yes! This one we are used to isn’t it?

Just the old normalcy of discrimination

For caste cleaning we do use it.

-Sydney Billford Monteiro

Statistics

My tribute to the Migrant Crisis

Statistics

His worries showed on his face

As he furrowed his eyebrows

Sweat trickling down his cheeks

Leaving behind a trail of sorrows

Barefoot he was not, when he

Started the journey

But somewhere on the way, his

Footwear had broken the ties

His blistering feet oozing blood

Begging for a moment of rest

But rest was not so easy to come by

Though the peaceful one was lurking around

His shoulders stooped with the burden

And hands puling along the baggage

His last attempts he recalled, were

To gather along whatever he could

His young girl trailed behind him

With at least one footwear intact

Teary-eyed, moans escaping her lips

As her thoughts wandered about her lost doll

Their stomachs growling with hunger

Throats dry as sand yearning for water

Helpless people collapsed around them

As the brutal sun spewed hot flames

His wife and friends have perished

Met their death on the tracks

The authorities have renamed them

Statistics they are now called

He has to walk faster braving all the

Obstacles on his way home

Lest he might fall prey to the situation

And end up being called a statistics.

-Sydney Billford Monteiro

The Kingdom of Obsession

The Kingdom of Obsession

Vivek drove as fast as he could though the traffic. It was always a challenge to Negotiate through the heavy traffic of the weekend partygoers. But he could not wait any longer to get to his hotel room. He had left half an hour early from his office and had already called the hotel twice to confirm his booking and was pretty satisfied that the hotel room was waiting for him.

Weekends were a getaway for Vivek; a getaway from his busy office work and mostly from his nagging wife. It was not a marriage it was an agreement; an agreement that the whole week his wife could treat him like shit and in return she would allow him to be free to do whatever he pleased on the weekends. Most men would use this opportunity to go to the local bar get drunk and get laid, but Vivek was different. He would book a room at the Grand Icon hotel for the entire weekend, buy a second hand novel and indulge himself in a reading spree and end up completing the book by the weekend.

Hotel Grand Icon was his choice of hotel as it was situated near the seashore and was clam and quiet. Every weekend room no. 515 was waiting for him. He has booked the same room for the past 3 years without fail. As a regular customer the hotel had made it a norm to keep the room reserved for him on the weekends.

Room 515 was a sea facing room, no disturbance, no noise other than the roaring sea and since it was the last room on the floor there were less chances of someone disturbing him.

Once he was in the room he would get out only for a smoke or while checking out on Monday mornings at 7 am. Food, breakfast and all other necessities were supplied by the hotel staff on request.

So what did he do in the room for the entire weekend? Was the question running in the staff's minds. No one knew the secret. The Hotel did not mind as long as the payment was made on time and there were no complaints from the guest. But rumors spread among the staff like wildfire guessing what could be happening behind those closed doors.

Some said he was porn addict and spent his entire weekend jerking off on cheap porn. The housekeeping staff was sure about it as they pointed the finger at the bed sheets. While some said he was a creepo who would spend the weekend all by himself or he was a secret spy working for the government agencies secretly typing away codes on his laptop or he was just a rich man who could spend money on a hotel room. Well, no one could be sure.

Whenever the hotel staff came by for the room service, the TV was turned off and a thick book lying on the table; which sometimes made people believe that he was writer or something.

What he actually did was this; he would go to a popular book stall in the town, where you could get your hands on some second hand books, go to the hotel room, spend the entire weekend reading the book from cover to cover with breaks only for some sleep, food, drinks and toilet needs.

Now why did he do that? Simply because he could. This was his opportunity to get away from his nagging wife. But the main reason for all this was simple; it was his obsession.

Vivek always preferred second hand books, not because they were cheaper. He could afford first editions of most of the books but he would still go for the second hand ones. He felt nostalgic with the smell of the pale brown dusty papers, the lightening ink blurring with time and most importantly for the reason that he could imagine the number of people who might have turned over those old pages and have read the books word by word, leaving behind their dead skin, a strand of hair, sweat; their DNA. As he read the books and turned its pages one by one he reimagined the thoughts that might have run across the minds if those numerous readers since the book was first published. In a new book his imagination was limited to that of the writer. But a used second hand book had many thoughts to it and also many interpretations of the ideas of the author.

At the early age of 15 Vivek was introduced to world of reading. His aunt had a huge library which contained many classics and rare books on the shelves.

Aunt Reena's library was strictly off limits for people who had no liking or any idea of creative writing. But that didn't stop Vivek from seeking in and making himself comfortable on the reading chair with a book of “Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson” by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

When he was caught Vivek was so scared and thought that Aunt Reena will beat the crap out of him. She did beat him but not as he had expected. She soon found that his mischief can be put for her advantage.

Aunt Reena was a pedophile; she took pleasure in making sex slaves out of young boys. Vivek was of the right age and needed to be punished for his mischief. She gave him 10 of his favorite books that day if he would spend the night in her bed doing what she pleased.

Just like any other teenager Vivek did want the sex but just not with Aunt Reena. He would find every reason to make an excuse to escape it, but his love for the books made him do it almost every weekend. Soon he got used to the hardcore sex but was disgusted with the Aunt Reena’s abuses. He wanted an escape. But he could never say no to books. He could have always gone to his father asking for money to buy books, but his father never wanted him to be cooped up in his room reading some old book and cooking up ideas in his brain. He wanted him to go out play with other kids get some part time job or do the chores. The thought of his father’s disapproval towards books and the constant nagging kept him away from approaching his unapproachable Dad and instead turn to Aunt Reena's bed for some classics.

It’s in Aunt Reena's library Vivek took an interest towards second hand books. A new book his father might have bought if he was lucky was in a way boring as it had no nostalgia to it. Whereas the same book in Aunt Reena's library had pale dusty pages, scribbling or marks of previous readers, a dried leaf trapped in between the pages, a dedication to a loved one and so on.

At the age of 19 Vivek realized that Aunt Reena was using him as a sex toy. He was getting tired of her insatiable desires. He had a part time job which paid him enough money to buy second hand books. He no long needed to turn to her library or rather to her bedroom. But Aunt Reena would not let him go so easily. So he relocated as he applied for college education in a faraway city and where Aunt Reena could no longer follow him.

A touch of a woman made his skin crawl after what Aunt Reena did to him. He had no friends no girlfriends in particular. He had his books to keep him company. Girls used to call him a creepo and stayed away from his sight. Vivek didn't seem to mind as he never enjoyed their company. But it all changed when Sweta entered his life. She found something in him that most of the girls never understood. There was charm to this mysterious young boy who was sunk in his books. She found him cute and nerdy intelligent. Soon she wanted to be with him all the time.

Initially it was difficult for Sweta to be in touch with Vivek as he ignored or escaped all her attempts to get closer. But then she understood what he is interested in. Naturally he was interested in books and so she started taking interest in the books he was reading and gradually she struck a conversation with him. The conversation turned into friendship and gradually in love and marriage. In the beginning the marriage went on well for some time. They soon had 2 kids but gradually the marriage lost its flavor as years went by and now Sweta secretly cursed her decision of falling in love with him.

Their marriage has finally reached a stage were love has been replaced by hateful words and care replaced with constant nagging. To get away from the nasty weekends Vivek finally struck a deal with Sweta that he would take off the whole weekend away from the family and she could spend some quality time shopping with her girls. He had no problem taking care of the expenses. She agreed instantly. And from then onwards Vivek has booked the hotel room constantly for the weekends and has enjoyed the company of the books he so revered.

Now driving as fast as possible through the weekend traffic Vivek was excited to lay his hands on the book- lying on the passenger’s seat “The Kingdom of Obsession". A friend of his had suggested the book and he had immediately called the book shop to keep it ready. He stole a glance at the book like a boy would at his crush. "The Kingdom of Obsession by James John" the book cover was teasing him.

James John was not a popular writer and Vivek had never heard about him. But whenever his book loving friend suggested a book he didn't think twice. The book was about a man who was obsessed about keeping himself organized. He would prepare timetables, planners, schedules to do everything he liked. He became so much obsessed with getting organized that soon he also had a time slot for making love. Initially his girlfriend took it as a joke but soon she realized that he was serious and it was taking a turn of madness. She left him at the right opportunity. He soon had no one for himself and was left lonely. But his obsession continued and it caused his downfall.

When his friend told him about the book he got instantly connected with it as he was also obsessed with books just like the character in the story was obsessed with his timetables.

His car stopped at the traffic signal 10 minutes away from the Hotel, he retrieved a folder from the glove compartment. Inside the folder there were several smaller plastic pouches which were neatly labeled and sealed. These contained the treasured memorabilia he collected from the books.

He opened the folder and placed a fresh plastic pouch inside for the memorabilia from his new book.

In 10 minutes Vivek was at the Grand Icon lobby. The doorman quickly recognized him and ushered him in with a broader smile. Vivek instantly tipped him and the smile broadened.

He was courteously greeted by the girl on the reception desk and his check-in process was swiftly done. The bell boy accompanied him to the room.

"Your room is ready Sir" the bell boy said.

"Oh thank you Arshad, and don't bother about explaining me the features of the room, I know the room better than all of the staff here."

"Very well sir. Should you need extra towels or bed sheets please let me know. I am at your service" he bowed down signaling his departure.

"Sure thanks Arshad" he tipped him too as he wanted him to leave as soon as possible.

Finally the room was for himself. He quickly threw his bag on the bed and started stripping down his cloths. Within seconds he was naked. The air conditioning of the room was blowing cool air at his sweaty body. The trickling sweat was drying off slowly.

Checking the minibar he made himself a cup of coffee and got hold of some wafers and sat down on the rocking chair.

Opening his bag he removed the book and ran his fingers on the cover clearing off the dust and straightening the folded edges of the pages. He then removed the folder from the bag and spread it open on the table.

Inside the folder there were many pouches. He removed one which contained a strand of long gray hair presumably from a lady. The label read "The Scion of Ishvaku" dated 6th January 2019. He smiled as the memory came to his mind. In the winter when he was reading this book about Lord Ram he found this hair right in the middle pages. He imagined an aged woman reading this book with thick glasses struggling to concentrate as her thin scalp was losing hair by the day. One of these unlucky strands of hair parted way from her scalp and flew at the mercy of the air and landed on the pages. He sealed the pouch as he brushed off the memory.

He then opened another and in it was a local bus ticket for Rs. 5/- fair. A Rs. 5/- bus fair will not take you more than a couple of kilometers, maybe a journey of 10 minutes with traffic. So he imagined the person was traveling for a short distance but he was so eager to still read the book even for a short while. The book Title was "Body of Evidence by Patricia Cornwell" a page turner; no wonder the person was so eager to find out what happened next. Vivek remembered that he himself had skipped his lunch to finish this book.

The next one only had a piece of paper with something written on it. It was Vivek’s own handwriting. This meant there was a phrase or scribbling written on the book which he could not collect directly as a sample. In such cases he would take out a piece of paper and scribbles down the quote. It read "to the person I hate so much". The book was "The Myths of Harappa". The quote was written on the insides of the cover in an eerie handwriting. It felt Gothic when Vivek first set his eyes on it. Now who would gift a book to the person he hates? Was the first question in his mind. Then when he read the book he concluded that it was one of the worst books he had ever read. The book distorted Indus Valley history by all proportions. Moreover the story felt as if it was directly out of a cheesy Bollywood movie. It was so short without emphasis on details that he felt it was written by a child. It was so short that he finished the book in 5 hours and left for the entire weekend doing nothing. He should have bought another book for the rest of the weekend. From then onwards he decided to take more books with him in case the book was short and he also decided to not consider the reviews by other readers as in this case they had been gravely misguided. No wonder someone selected this book to give to the person he hates so much.

Next was from "God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. This one also had a phrase written on the page where Richard speaks about Climbing Mount Probable. The phrase had only three words “I am God". Bold words to be written on a book which is set out to prove the nonexistence of God, don’t you think? If you are God why you need to read a book which proved you wrong? Moreover the question is that whether this self-proclaimed God has read this book and understood it.

Personally Vivek never completely agreed with the book. But he didn't completely disagree with it too. He was more of an agnostic. A 5 on the Richard's scale to mark his belief; leaning towards agnostic.

The coffee cup was empty he picked up the cup and placed it on the minibar not bothering to clean it. Now it was time for some rum. He loved his rum in coke and the hotel very well knowing about it had placed the same readily in the bar. Getting his drink right he came back to his seat; still naked scratching his sweaty behind.

Time for one more memorabilia to be refreshed and then he would start with the book. The next one was his favorite. It was from "Fifty Shades Darker" by E L James. The pouch contained an erotica love letter. It read “dear Deep the last time we read this book together we ended up having sex in the kitchen. You seductive touch ufff takes my breath away. Ah the way you punish me for turning my eyes on you ah my skin needs you. I am sending you this book to get inspired. I have marked all the sexy pages. Read them and come to me with new ideas. Make me your slave and punish me all night.

P S: don't forget to bring the foil packet. I don’t want to get pregnant like last time.

Love you, yours wetness”.

Every time Vivek read these lines a chuckle would escape his lips. It did this time too. Scratching his bald head he put the letter back into the pouch.

The sweat had disappeared from his skin; the air conditioning was working. It was beginning to feel cold, but he didn't bother to put on any clothes. It was his carefree weekend and he wanted it to be.

It was time to get to his book now. He would read continuously for an hour and then would order his dinner and enjoy it. And later read through late night.

Vivek would always go to the famous second hand book store; "The Whistlers". He would return the book he read over the weekend and would buy a new one of his choice. He never kept any books he read. The reason was his wife's hatred for them. He didn't mind though as long as he could keep something as a memorabilia from the books.

Finding memorabilia from a used book was not easy. You need an eye for detail. Not everyone could find anything peculiar in a book. But Vivek’s eyes were trained to find something special in a book. His obsession for finding memorabilia was more than finishing the book itself.

Vivek would go to the shop owner directly and ask for the book; most of the time he would have already called the owner and inform about the book and the book was ready waiting for him. The owner at The Whistlers knew him very well as he was a regular customer and he would keep books ready for him on demand.

Vivek never opened the book to check for any torn pages or damage; the owner did that for him. He wanted the book to be a surprise and reveal its secrets to him page by page. And then he would wait for the surprise find it keep it for himself and be glad about it.

Vivek’s obsession was neither of reading books nor of finishing the book by the weekend. Though not doing so will drive him crazy. His obsession was to find a memorabilia before he finished the book. There was a time when he had almost lost it. Right till the end of the book he could not find any memorabilia or anything unusual about the book. He read and read turning the pages as the storyline got interesting but no sign of anything unusual. And he was quickly running out of pages. He had to do something. Only 2 pages of the book were left and he was getting desperate. He was ready to hit the book at the wall as hard as he could or rip off all the pages and burn them with the rage in his eyes. But just when he was about to give up he realized that the last page of the book was missing. This was even maddening than not able to find a memorabilia. He trusted the owner of the shop to check the books properly before selling. But he had failed miserably. For an avid reader there is nothing crazier than finding the last pages missing where the climax is made known. This time he felt like tearing off the owners face in his bare hands.

What should he do now? No memorabilia pages missing? This is the worst. What will he put in the empty pouch? How would he get out of the hotel room the next day? The hotel room was his weekend kingdom. His weekend kingdom of obsession. The throne he dethroned at the end of the week and enthroned at the beginning. That was the cycle he never wanted to break. It seemed like there was a break to it after all. Someone had thrown a stick at the moving wheel which got stuck in between the spokes and he was off the wheel thrown further.

This was maddening at the highest levels. He had to do something. He spent 2 hours starring at the book contemplating his next action. He had almost emptied the minibar while doing the same. Scratching his bald head, pulling at the few strands of hair left on his head and hitting at the wall as hard as he could had not helped him much. After long hours of contemplation he had to give up. He made up his mind that he will not get out of hotel room without the memorabilia. Either he will find it by the morning or end his life in this room.

The view of the sea from the balcony was mesmerizing and tempting. A fall from this balcony would be on those hard black rocks below; a bone shattering business, instant death for sure. That would be his choice, his choice of death. Just like in the book, "Johnny can't decide" which is a chilling story of young Johnny who cannot decide how to die and finally chooses to jump off the cliff.

Only thing he would miss in this world were his girls. He felt sorry for them but he could not live with the fact that he would be getting out of this room without a memorabilia. Then what about books you might think. Won't he miss the books the most? Well yes he would but he could always choose to be a ghost wondering through the book stalls and read them.

A fit of rage ran through his body. With this rage he threw the whiskey glass at the book. It hit the book sending it fluttering to the floor. The glass took a small detour and hit the wall disintegrating into thousands of pieces. But Vivek’s eyes were fixed on the fallen book. A piece of paper was peeping out of the binding of the book. The paper was matching with the pages of the book and had some hand written noted on it. His eyes brightened up and he removed the paper from the binding. It was the last page which solved the mysteries of the book and also on the back side there was a note. There you have your memorabilia. “God damn, the fool who thought of doing this” he cursed. Suddenly his weekend turned to be the best of all. He had the story, he had the memorabilia and most importantly he now knew what to do if there was no memorabilia in the book; jump off the balcony off course. He will not have to waste hours on that decision anymore.

Vivek carefully removed the paper from the binding and started reading the story still keeping the note behind as a surprise. He would get to the suspense later. Finishing the story he slowly turned over the page and started reading the note.

"Dear Annu, I know you like a little suspense thriller. Well this is my gift to you; a thriller that will blow you mind away. This is a vivid page turner and the suspense goes on right till the last page. You might think you are close to solving the mystery but mind you you will be wrong about it when you get to the end.”

“I know you have a very bad habit of shuffling through the last pages when you are desperate to find answers and that’s why I have come up with a plan. I have torn off the last page. Yes I know you will be mad at me for doing this to a book, but I can't help it. It’s up to you to find this page or get to the answer by yourself. The funny thing is you will have no idea that I have thorn the page until you find this paper. Well what can I say; you are screwed, serves you right for your bad habit of jumping pages.”

“But hey don't you worry I'll get back to you with the answer and show you the page by the end of the week. Till then better luck figuring out what’s going on.”

All the best

Your loving dad

Visk..."

The fact that the page was still in the binding probably says that Annu could never get to the answer and also that her dad for some reason could not reveal the ultimate secret. Why what might have happened? What happened to Visk? All types of possible explanations ran through his mind. But the one which stuck on was that probably Visk died before revealing the secret. Vivek liked tragedies and this was the explanation he stuck on to.

Imagine the plight of Annu if that was true, if her father had actually died without telling her the secret. She had lost her father a greatest tragedy of all. But even greater tragedy was that the secret her dad planned for was not revealed. A book, a gift from her dad with the last page filled with answers and now the only person her dad who could tell about the missing the page was gone forever. Imagine the craziness around that. Vivek just could not fathom it. He himself would have died without the answers.

Now coming back from the memory he smiled at himself. Opening the folder again he retrieved the pouch with the missing page and the note. It was a photocopy. He had neatly pasted the page back on the book and taken a photocopy before reselling it.

He opened the pouch removed the page and read it again refreshing his memory. This was one of the most treasured and priceless memories of his collection. Moreover he was very much content that he could weave a story behind the page that the father had died before revealing the secret. This was his obsession; finding the stories behind these memorabilia.

Smiling at himself happy that he could do this in his brain and feeling triumphant he patted himself on the back. Replacing the pouch he kept the folder safely in his bag. Then he removing the book he started getting ready to read.

Making himself comfortable on the chair he ran his fingers over the cover of the book feeling the dust. The front cover had an abstract picture of a clock and a calendar with the shadow of a man in the center holds his head with both hands; a clear depiction of sorrow without showing any facial features. He certainly looked like a man in distress, a man who could not follow his schedules or probably a man who felt lonely and could not take it anymore or perhaps a man in his kingdom of obsession that the world could not understand. It was an apt depiction of the obsession written in the book.

The back cover gave a small brief about the book "welcome to Jishnu’s Kingdom of Obsession. Once entered, dead is the only way you go out."

"His obsession started off a small game which blossomed into a tool for his success and later lead to the mania which saw his downfall, his loneliness and his end."

"Come join in the journey, in the obsession of Jishnu, in his ups and downs and beware I warned you once you enter only death can get you out"

"Hmmm amazing..." Vivek thought as he smiled at himself at his success of landing his hands on this gem.

Making himself another drink he settled down in the chair to start reading.

After the initial pages of dedications there was a single page with this a single sentence “The obsession you could die for".

The story starts with Jishnu waking up one night with a terrible nightmare; a nightmare where he has failed to follow the schedule and missed his deadlines. For Jishnu who was terribly obsessed with his schedule this was a nightmare of nightmares. He is sweaty with bloodshot eyes and shaking and shouting "no no no"

Besides him Divya wakes up in shock. "What! What happened baby?"

"I missed it, oh no I missed" he was still in shock.

"What? What did you miss?" she was terrified.

"The deadline... Oh no I missed it... My God I missed" he still could not come out of his shock.

"What? What are you blabbering about? What deadline? Don't tell me it's one of your stupid timetables." she scowled at him realizing what was happening.

"Yes baby I missed my timetable. Oh no how could I do that?" he bent down holding his head in shock.

"God! for Christ sake Jish, it's just a dream and it's just a timetable. Why are you so obsessed about it? You didn't follow the timetable so what? Just change the time table accordingly. And for the love of God don't make a big issue out of it. It's just a stupid dream and you think it's a nightmare.’ she said in an exasperated tone.

She could not take it any more with this obsession. This was not the first time he had reacted like this on his stupid timetables. She was getting tired of it.

“No baby how can you say that? How can I change the timetable as per my wish? If I am changing the timetable there is no need to make a timetable in the first place" he tried to be reasonable.

"Then don't make one" she was getting frustrated.

"First of all it's not a timetable it's a schedule and you know I have to follow it"

"God your timetable will one day take you down. Now go back to sleep and allow me to do the same" she pulled the covers over her head and tried to caught up with the sleep she had lost.

"But baby"

She removed the covers and said "aren't you supposed to be sleeping as per your schedule at the moment?"

"Yes"

"Then follow your schedule and go to sleep and allow me too. God! For Christ sake Jish just go to sleep" her voice muffled under the sheets.

Jishnu frowned and went back to sleep try to caught up with his schedule.

“Wow that’s too much of obsession with time” Vivek thought and had a sip of his drink.

Then there is a flashback of Jishnu’s life; the day when his friend told him about this seminar on Time Management.

"It's called “Simple Steps to Plan Your Success" his friend told him with excitement. “It’s a one hour seminar on time management by this famous YouTuber Arun" he said.

Jishnu was not keen on attending any seminars. He was never interested in sitting in a class and listening to some boring gibberish. And moreover he knew that these motivational speakers these YouTubers never actually practiced what they said. Just like politicians they were gifted orators who had good convincing skills. He had made up his mind not to attend the seminar but due to the constant persuasion of his friend he had to decide otherwise.

Till then Jishnu had never planned his day, nor did he have any schedules prepared for his day to day activities. He just did what he felt like doing. No setting of short term or long term goals, no planners or timetables to reach to those goals; nothing… nothing at all. There were times when he would lay down on the couch and stare at the ceiling for hours without any purpose just because he felt like doing so. He was not going to gain anything from this stupid seminar he was almost sure about it. But life had other plans for him.

Jishnu attended the seminar and it turned out that his friend was right. He did like the seminar.

The seminar was so influential that it kindled the long lost fire in him; the fire of one day becoming an entrepreneur. The YouTuber was famous for his inspirational speech his real life examples, his scientific approach, his method of trying to beat your conscience and get out the answers from within. The seminar had a same impact on Jishnu too. He instantly wanted to be an entrepreneur and he had to knock at his inner conscience for answers, for directions and there it was an app to connect people. He had his answers. His coding skills and his software engineering was going to be put to good use.

After the mind blowing seminar Jishnu bought books on Time Management and indulged himself in reading them. He spent sleepless nights taking in the ideas from the books. Grasping the concepts he set out to design a plan for his success. Simultaneously, he also brushed up on his long forgotten coding skills.

As soon as he knew what he was supposed to do, he began jotting down the plan on paper. First he made the list of his short term and long term goals. Made a list of things he had to do to achieve those goals and created more sub goals. He gave a time frame a deadline to each task and started acting on it. For the first time in his life it felt like he had a purpose in life.

Vivek looked at the pages he had read. Almost 25 percent of the book was completed and it was getting boring. Moreover the disappointment was of not getting any memorabilia yet. The glass was empty and so he got up to fix himself a drink. A sip and he resumed reading.

For Jishnu money was not a problem. His dad had loads of it. Only he had to make up his mind to be an entrepreneur and stick on to it. Also he needed the help of his friends. He quickly roped in Firoz with him. Firoz was a fellow software engineer who studied with him and most of all was a close buddy. He was the partner in crime for all their mischiefs. As soon as Firoz heard the plan he readily accepted to join. They were going to create an online messenger app that connects people with text, video and voice recording options. Simultaneously there were other features to the app like online shopping, medical care, traffic and weather updates and dating services.

Quickly they formed a group of friends and each one was given a specific task; marketing, sales, planning, programming etc. It took them 6 months to finish the project and that meant the marketing team worked day and night to market the app on various platforms and also started getting alliances with different vendors to get the required assistance. The app was made popular and everyone was eagerly waiting for it release.

All the while during the inception period of these 6 months Jishnu not for once deviated from his schedules. He also urged his team to strictly follow the schedules without fail. And in the event of someone failing to follow the schedule he would get furious with them. He was beginning to get a bad name for himself because of this. But his all inspiring speeches kept them going with eager enthusiasm.

The days passed by and the day for the release of the app was getting closer. And just then a terrible tragedy struck.

"Ah finally this is getting interesting" Vivek said you himself though still frowning that there was no luck getting to the memorabilia yet.

Just when he was about to turn the page and find out what was the tragedy, the doorbell rang. "Room service".

He quickly put on the night robes set the book aside on the side table putting all his cloths on the bed opened the door for his dinner.

Again he tipped the water heavily; the waiter left happily. He wanted the waiter to leave him alone as soon as possible. He didn't want him to keep blabbering about “Enjoy your meal sir, have a nice day sir good night sir…”

Vivek never read a book while watching TV or while eating food. He wanted full concentration on the books and moreover he wanted to take it slow; he loved suspense and the story had stopped at one.

He enjoyed his dinner as if it was his last one; slowly chewing each and every morsel aiding in its digestion. He never watched TV, unless it was a cricket match. TV destroys your imagination he said, your mind stopped imagining things. He heavily criticized movie directors for making movies inspired by a novel. That stopped people from reading the book. That’s the worst you could do to kill a book and kill creativity.

He had stopped watching news channels too. “They are all fake” he said, “spewing all the venom and creating tension in the society.”

So the TV in his room was never switched on. He placed his dinner on the table and made himself comfortable on the chair and armed himself with a knife and a fork, all ready to enjoy his dinner to the fullest. His dinner menu was always fixed. The hotel knew what he liked. He didn't want to remind them every time and the hotel understood it.

Slowly digging into the meal he started thinking about the book. "The book is not that great as it is hyped about. There was no suspense, it is predictable. The storyline is good but bland, nothing new or special to it. And where is my memorabilia? You'll get it, calm down now." he consoled himself.

The book might have taken an interesting turn with the tragedy mentioned in the last pages he just read. So what could be the tragedy? Did Jishnu die before the app got released? No that's not possible; the book would end there, isn't it? Well unless it is a ghost story; and this is not. So what happened? Probably his partner ditched him. No that will spoil the story. Or is it that he could not release the app as scheduled? Probably the marketing team goofed up and the release dates got extended making him adjust his schedule accordingly. Certainly looking at the theme of obsession and with his obsession for schedules this is entirely plausible. Or probably he ran out of money to support his company, naah not possible, his father will help him out; unless something happens and his father decides to cut him off, yes.

So which one is it? He began to consider. The suspense was building up yet he would not hurry with his meal. He liked the suspense and he liked his dinner too.

After about half an hour he finished his meal clearing his plate clean he placed the plate outside the room not bothering to call room service for clearance, they would get to it he knew. Cleaning himself up he sat on the chair and opened the book.

Turns out that he was right about the app not releasing as planned; but that was anybody’s guess. A much bigger tragedy had fallen on Jishnu; his partner Firoz had died. Just when there were 2 days left for the release Firoz got involved in a car accident and died.

The tragedy almost devastated Jishnu. But he could not mourn over it. He had to fight the tears he had to go as per the plan. He did not mourn not because he had no love for Firoz, but because the mourning was not mentioned in his schedules. On other hand Jishnu had to change his schedule to finish Firoz’s pending work.

His friends were furious when they came to know that Jishnu would not attend the funeral as it was not mentioned in his schedule. But Jishnu had a reputation to turn into a furious lion when someone tried to convince him to break his schedule. That had an exception; Divya.

Only Divya had had the courage to speak to him directly on his face. In fact she spoke to everyone the same. She was his Assistant Engineer and also his childhood classmate and dear friend. They had something special going on between them; she called it love and he... Well he didn't know there was something special happening. She had to step in as this whole episode would be a bad advertisement for their app.

"How could you do this Jish?" she asked him with a surprised tone.

"Look Divya, look" he opened his Google calendar and showed her his schedule.

"What’s this? Are even listening to what I am saying?" she was getting frustrated.

"This is my schedule which I had prepared over the past week. Do you see anywhere that I have any extra time to spare?" he asked her moving the phone closer to her face.

"Stop it Jish" she pushed the phone off her face as hard as she could. "What are you saying Jish? Are you saying that you don't have time for your dear friend? Come on Jish, this is the last time you will be able to see him." she said almost fighting the tears back into her eyes.

"Look I saw him last evening when he was alive and could respond to whatever I said. He's gone he's left us. There is no point in talking to his dead body. I am busy. If possible I will send some flowers for his funeral" he said casually.

"What!" Divya just could not believe what she just heard. Maybe she was dreaming; no it's reality. This was not the Jishnu she fell in love with. "Are you listening to yourself Jish? So if something happens to me tomorrow will you come and help or will you check your schedule first to find out if you have any spare time?" her voice was furious now.

"Divya just leave me please. I have got work to do. I have changed my schedule to work double now. I have to cover what Firoz was doing too"

"But what is the hurry Jish? This work can wait. What will happen if it is delayed by one day? Just relax man. Just mourn for a day at least for your dear friend like others" she pleaded.

"Don’t you realize we have only 2 days left for the release and there is a ton of work to be done? You guys are wasting your time. In fact you guys have to work double hard on this now." he said.

"Release in 2 days? What you talking about? Didn't you hear the release has been postponed for 3 months?" she broke the news.

"What who did that?" he was surprised and angry.

"Paul did it" she swiftly replied.

"What why? And why was I not informed about this? Wait let me get that bastard’s act right. Paul you are fired" he said with his furious voice and picked up the phone.

Divya grabbed the phone away from him. "I told him to do so and this reaction is the precise reason why it was not informed to you and I think as your Assistant I have the right to postpone the release.”

"But why? Why did you postpone it? 3 months! God 3 months is a long time and we will lose to our competitors. Why did you do this to me?" his mind was racing through all the alterations he will have to do to his schedules because of this change. “What will I do for these 3 months? God I am screwed.”

Divya took a moment to consider on her answer. The real reason she had postponed the release was to give the entire team a proper time for mourning. Firoz was a team player, he was everyone's favorite. He was the glue which bonded them together whereas Jishnu was the thinner that loosened the strongest of adhesives. She foresaw that with Firoz gone and Jishnu with his crazy love for his schedules the team will scattered it will break and it will be a huge failure for the app. No she could not take a chance she had to be the savior she had to save the company. But she could not let Jishnu know about it, so she came up with another explanation.

"I did this because it's bad marketing for our app Jish. With your partner gone and the company mourning the public might think our company has no human touch to it. While actually we are emphasizing on human connections and on the contrary we are not doing as we are preaching in real life." she said with confidence.

She had Jishnu’s full attention focused on her.

“and then" she continued "we can use this opportunity to let people know more about Firoz through this app. We will showcase about his life and achievements on the app. So that people will know what we are committed for" she was talking in his language now; the language of business. She had played her trick.

"Oh yes... Yes you are right. Why didn't I see that? We can ask the marketing team to get right to it" suddenly his tone was filled with excitement.

Still no sign of mourning for his friend; Divya sighed. But she had to play along.

"Don’t worry we will do just that. As soon as possible we will do it. But first let’s get ready for the funeral. Now since you have time change your schedule a little bit and come along with me. Please at least for me." she pleaded.

"Off course baby" he said and got up to wash his face.

"Ah finally he's back." Divya let a sigh of relief.

Jishnu didn't need much time for getting ready. He just needed to wash his face, apply some cream on his hair and sprayed a deodorant. Shaving was a once in a week activity and changing clothes was once in 2 days activity. He quickly glanced at his Google calendar and made some mental adjustments to his schedule and he was ready to go. But as soon as he looked away from the schedule he had a hint of sadness in his face.

"Hey what happened now" she saw the sadness and hugged him.

"Nothing, forget it. You'll get angry with me" he tried to avoid her questioning.

"Why I will be angry. Come on now I love you and you know that. I cannot be angry with you. Tell me what's the matter?" she hugged him tighter.

"It’s just that I don't know what to do with the extra 3 months of time" he frowned.

“And I was thinking Firoz’s death is bothering him. So stupid of me” She thought.

"Don’t worry we will sit together later today and plan out our schedule for the next 3 months." she assured him.

"Really?" he said excitedly.

"Yes off course and probably you can keep up your promise you had made" she started playing with him.

"What promise?" that took him by surprise.

"The promise of you taking me to Maldives for a holiday. It's been almost a year since you made that promise and now you have 3 extra months to fulfill the same. A week in Maldives as you had promised" she reminded him.

"Oh yes I did promise you. But I have to work on the app"

"You were going to finish the work in 2 days if I am not wrong" she said punching him on his arm. "Besides now you have 3 months to work on it and fix all the glitches too. We will work hard and we will plan it out and I will help you with it. Don't worry the app will be ready for release. I want you to detox from your grief. One week away from all work. I am sure the team will take care of the work. (“The team will be more relieved to”, she thought) please for me jish" she pleaded.

"OK done I will alter my schedule and get the travel plan fixed" he said.

"Oh Jish you are so sweet" she gave him a peck on his cheek as she giggled with excitement.

They both got ready and left for the funeral. "This is not the right way to go to a friend's funeral" Divya was thinking in the back of her mind. But when it’s Jishnu there was no use thinking about moral convictions.

Vivek now had finished almost 40 percent of the book. The clock had struck 12 AM and the bottle was empty and yet there was no memorabilia. He was tempted to turn the pages, check the cover, turn the book upside down, to look for any memorabilia but that was not his way. He would not break his own rules.

Meanwhile the obsession in the book was stirring up his excitement. He was tempted to keep reading and finish the book in one go. But that would ruin the excitement for him. Besides what will he do for the rest of the weekend and he needed some rest too. So he closed the book and thought of resting his tired body.

His dreams were always filled with books. A truck load of books were sent to his address as a Christmas present. He instantly dug into the books reading through the pages in robotic speed; collecting memorabilia on the way and pouching and labeling them. Got crazy as he could not find anything in some of the books, throwing them into the hellfire where they burnt for eternity for their crimes.

Holding a book in his hands pacing through the hotel room engrossed himself into the book desperately trying to find a memorabilia he walks into the bathroom and finds himself surrounded by shelves of books. Thousands of them lined up neatly and labeled with their categories in ascending order. Ah, the library of his dreams.

Pulling a chair he starts picking books from the shelves to read and is lost in the books as he fails to see the raging fire which has broken out in the library. The burnt shelves of books are crumbling down but he fails to notice. He has buried himself deep into the book desperately searching for the memorabilia. All the books are burnt and when he lifts up his eyes from the book the final shelf which stands right behind him falls on his head.

Instantly he is teleported to a car driven by Firoz. He is holding the book "Kingdom of Obsession" in his hands while Firoz drives the car carefully through the traffic. He is still deep in the books trying to find the one thing he wants so badly. Looking up at Firoz he envies him. Suddenly for no reasons at all he throws the books on Firoz’s lap and shouts; "Damn you Firoz, damn you... Where is it? Where the hell is it?" Firoz has his eyes glued to the road, his hands rigid on the wheel. Vivek keeps shouting in a never ending shriek and shakes Firoz furiously. "Where is it God dammit? Where? Where? Where? Here take it and search you piece of shit. We're hell is it?" Firoz’s eyes are still glued to the road but Vivek has shaken him so badly that he has lost control of the steering wheel. His eyes stay glued to the oncoming truck as it honks frantically, but he cannot move. Only thing he does is step on the gas pedal and speed towards the oncoming truck. He wants to scream as he is speeding towards his eminent dead. But the only scream heard is of Vivek shrieking in his ears. "Where is it goddammit where?"

The sudden loud crash wakes Vivek from his nightmare. He is sweating and his bed sheets are wet with perspiration. He took a while to take note of his surroundings and realized that he just had a bad dream. It was just 2:00 AM “whoa, that was a bad one. This book is driving me crazy. I better get that memorabilia soon" he said to himself. He decides to empty his bladder and then goes to the minibar takes a miniature of whisky and fills the bladder again. "Ah this should give me some sleep" he thought and pulling over the covers he goes into deep sleep again.

The next morning Vivek got up at 10 am. He was a late riser on weekends but not this late ever. Probably the nightmares kept him away from deep sleep and that was too much of alcohol yesterday. His head was aching and he was feeling nauseous. He dialed up room service ordering for his usual breakfast and some lemonade.

A relaxing warm water bath would make him feel better he knew and the room service will take their time to serve the breakfast, moreover the book could wait; he had 2 more days to complete it.

He switched on the tap and checked the water; it was warm a perfect warm for a morning bath. The water started filling the tub as he stood undressed waiting for it to fill to the brim. Soon as the bath was ready he got into the tub and relaxed his aching head.

After about 20 minutes as he came out of the bath he was feeling much better. The waiter was at the door with his breakfast. Wrapping himself with the bath towel he ushered in the waiter who placed the platter on the table and explained about his breakfast and left collecting his tips.

It was already 10:45 and Vivek was famished. So he quickly got on to his breakfast. Like the lunch and dinner he had a fixed breakfast and the Hotel took care of his preferences.

After breakfast he went out to the balcony and smoked a cigarette. This eased his senses calming down for a good read. The view from the balcony was breathtaking. The Saturday Morning Sea was clam and blowing pleasant breeze at his side. The sun had long departed from the horizon and was hung up in the clear sky. A pleasant day for a good read. It was tempting to sit down on the balcony chairs and continue his book. But to avoid disturbances he preferred to go back inside and start reading. So he finished his cigarette got back to the room opened the book and sat on the chair.

The book went on to speak about the vacation to Maldives. These pages drifted away from the main theme of the book. There was no obsession whatsoever, well other than Divya being obsessively in love with Jishnu. The book showed the carefree fun loving side of Jishnu. But yes here too his schedules followed him. They visited the restaurant as per the scheduled, the beach as per the schedule, the pub as per the schedule, the museum as per the schedule. It was driving Divya crazy, but as long as he spent time with her she didn't mind.

A weeklong vacation took the stress away from the couple. It also took the stress away from the team back home as they could work on the project peacefully without the constant nagging from Jishnu. The team worked hard. Divya had motivated the entire team to make them realize Firoz’s dream. She made them feel that he would be happy with the project wherever he was and he would be proud too. By the time the couple returned from their vacation the project was almost ready and was running successful trials.

Jishnu was so delighted with the progress that he had to find some time in his schedule for a team outing. The team was also delighted to see the other side of Jishnu. But it was short lived. As the day of the release was getting closer Jishnu was back to his old self; making schedules, preparing plans organizing things for the big day. And also getting pissed off when the schedules were not followed. But Divya motivated the entire team to ignore and go on.

The release day was a huge success. Divya’s plan of showing their emotional side to the public work wonders. Losing Firoz was as their partner was the biggest loss they faced and she made sure the public took note of it. The app got the well-deserved publicity and soon hit a million downloads. The inauguration program also went on well as planned. Jishnu’s planning and Divya’s human touch played the trick. They were instant celebrities in the media and the competitors started tracking their progress.

Vivek looked at the book, almost 50 % was done but he was nowhere close to finding any memorabilia yet. The storyline was also getting boring. "Where is the obsession that was promised? There's only success and success. And the story is getting predictable. What do I do? Well, all success to Jishnu but I am in no luck" he thought.

It was 2 pm and Vivek’s stomach was growling with hunger. But the disappointment of not finding anything remarkably close to a memorabilia made him throw off any thoughts for food. Generally he would find a memorabilia half way through the book in most cases. But in 25% of the times he found it in the last 10 pages and once inside the binding. So there was still hope of finding something here too. He was the King of this kingdom and he would find what he was looking for; he assured himself.

His eyes were getting tired and he needed to rest them. But the thought of going to sleep reminded him of the nightmares and that scared him. Sleep will not be the right thing to do, nor food to keep him away from the nightmares. He knew that alcohol will sooth his senses. He got himself a new bottle of rum from the room service. Keeping the book aside opening the balcony door he sat on the chair and admired the bright afternoon sun and the shining waters of the sea. Then opening the rum he made himself a drink. "Ah, what a life? What a normal life?" he thought. He knew his life was fucked up; far from normal. All this obsession of finding a memorabilia is madness, pure madness; he knew that. But he had come a long distance; he could not turn back, there was no pull stop to this. There was only one way out of it. A leap from the balcony to his death as the calm shining sea was calling at him. The thought brought back the memories of last year when he had almost considered jumping off the balcony. He had almost come close to end his obsession. This was the kingdom he didn't wanted to be the King of. He needed an escape or did he? He just could not make up his mind. "OK let's not think like this. Let me relax a little and enjoy my drink. I'll be fine and at the end of the day I'll find what I am looking for.  I will pouch it label it and I am off with my life" he thought. Pushing back the easy chair he sipped the drink and clamed himself. His senses relaxed and he stopped thinking about the book. The only thought he was thinking was of the sea and the breathtaking view.

The clink of the glass woke him up. Vivek pushed himself off the chair feeling groggy. The glass was on the floor spilling the left over rum. The wall clock said it was 4 pm. "Oh God I slept through the afternoon" he thought. He had not realized when he had drifted to sleep. The sleep was thankfully dreamless and deep. He thanked God for that. His stomach was still growling and he had to satisfy it. Picking up the phone he dialed the room service.

Lunch at 4 pm was satisfying. With the sleep and the alcohol to smooth his senses and food to satisfy his stomach, he was at peace. He didn't want to think about the book yet or rather about not finding anything in it. "Just let me enjoy my lunch first".

It was 5:30 pm, too early for alcohol. So he went to the balcony and lit a cigarette and started smoking. He wished he had more time to read the book later, but he had to finish reading it as he had only one more day left. The setting sun had thrown a beautiful picture on the evening sky. The sky was violently changing its colors. Something about the sun struck him; it was being pulled down mercilessly by the horizon and it was fighting back by throwing up fires at the sky. Something told him that the sun was asking his help. It was asking him to hold its dying hands and to pull up against the horizon. Clearly it was suicide considering the horizon’s strength. The ground beneath him started tugging at him and he instantly transformed into the sun being pulled down by the ground. "Come to me" the earth was beaconing. He quickly recoiled and got inside the room shutting the balcony door. His obsession his madness was raging to the new level. The thought of not finding a memorabilia was making him crazier every minute. It had now started giving him nightmares when he was awake. Alcohol could help him again, but no it’s too early for alcohol and he would drift back to sleep. He had to finish reading the book and if he could still not find anything he would go back and check once again carefully. The book was not bound so he didn't have option of checking the bind like last time. He was tempted to skip reading and turn the pages, flutter through the pages and find something, but damn his rules he could not break them. He washed his face with warm water and tried to calm himself.

Turning the chair towards the evening natural light he sat and resume the book. The time was 6 pm and he decided he would read the book for 2 hours without break; memorabilia or not it didn't matter.

The app was running successfully in the market. Soon the internet giants sent offers to buy the app. But Jishnu and Divya would not give up their brain child so easily. They had made a name in the market, now they had to sustain themselves. But Jishnu had other plans; he wanted to expand. Expansion into other sectors of the internet world was too early for their new company. Divya suggested they should first sustain in the market for some time. They had to bury their roots firmly in the ground and then they could take a shape they intended. But Jishnu was adamant. This lead to fights between them. Moreover his obsession with his schedules made matters worse. They were moving apart from each other without their realization. The team could sense it. Most of them stayed loyal but few could not continue any longer. They could not stand Jishnu’s nagging about his rigid schedules. They saw this as a threat to their careers and decided to leave. But still this did not affect the regular business.

There were ups and down in Jishnu’s and Divya’s relationship. The bonding they had built during the vacation at Maldives was hanging on weak threads now. Divya was on the verge of breaking up as she could not live with his schedules any longer. She had had enough of it. Jishnu on the other hand was nowhere near this relationship. He was obsessed with his planning about ideas of running the business about expanding into other sectors. Only things that ran in his mind were planning, schedules, time tables, business, more planning, more schedules.... He was getting obsessed himself. Divya never wanted to be the princess of his Kingdom of Obsession. But she loved him and she could not let go of him so easily. She still wanted to give a last try to this relationship.

"Baby, what is so interesting about those papers"? She asked him.

Jishnu was immersed in the heap of paper on his desk. He had a huge chart paper spread in front of him on which he was drawing lines and shapes; his usual planning stuff. "Nothing" he said without taking his eyes off the desk. He knew there was no point in explaining as she would not understand.

"Come one tell me na" she pleaded. Although she very well knew that when he was busy with something which involves chart papers it's best to leave him alone. But then he was always involved in such stuff. He never spent any quality time with her. Besides what she wanted him to do to her required more than the quality time. He body was craving for his touch, for his nakedness. She wanted to feel his lustful hardness through all her senses. She wanted him inside her, caressing her insides with his manhood. Her hard nipples with passion filled nectar were longing to be sucked. Her breast ready to be gently squeezed. She did not care about the consequences.

"Nothing that you don't know. Just the planning stuff which you are not interested in" he answered her halfheartedly, still without moving his gaze from what he was doing.

"Well you should look up from those sheets once in a while and look at what's in front of you. Don't you like what you see baby" she said almost trying to control the fiery feeling forming in between her legs. She gently ran her fingers all over her curves. A seductive smile was forming on her face.

"Wow you look beautiful!" Jishnu said as his mouth gapped open. She was wearing sexy black strapless satin lingerie and no bra inside. Her hard nipples were pressing against her dress threatening to tear it and pop out at any moment. She was at her best.

"Oh... Just beautiful? Come one you can do better." she said and sat on his lap holding his hands and cupping her breasts and rubbing her nipples.

"Ah" Jishnu was suddenly taken aback. He did not expect that at all.

"Come on baby look into my eyes. Am I not sexy? Don't you want to kiss these juicy lips?" she turned to face him and kissed his cheeks.

He was still dumbstruck and could not respond.

"Oh baby I know you want this" she ran her finger on her body again. "Come on Jish just do it na"

"No" Jishnu himself could not believe he said that nor did Divya.

"What? What do you mean?" She recoiled and suddenly stood in front of him. She was shocked and could not believe what she heard.

"I am busy Divya. I am free after 7. We will do this later" he turned towards his desk.

"What do you mean by that? What do you mean we will do it at 7? Jish what do you think this is? What do you think our relationship is Jish?" she was furious. For some reason she cover herself suddenly feeling ashamed of her nakedness.

"Why are you overreacting? Its sex that you want I know and I am not saying no to it. I am just saying that I'll do it little later. I have a free time in my schedule at 7 pm and we can have sex at that time. The stuff I am doing now is very important for me. We will have a lot of time to think about our relationship. Now let me go back to what I was doing. You come back at 7 in the same sexy dress and I'll do as you please ". He picked up his pencil and started drawing lines on the paper.

“Oh my God! I can't believe you said that Jish" her mouth gapped open with shock. She could not believe her ears. "You need a time table for sex! I mean that's crazy of the next level. So do you have a time slot for everything you do? Do you have separate time for spending time with me? And what you mean by come back at 7 in the same dress? Am I your slave to obey your orders? And what about my time? What about my mood? What if I am not in mood at 7 when you have allotted time for me? What then Jish? Tell me? "She was shouting at the top of her voice.

Jishnu did not respond to that. He resumed his work.

“Come on tell me Jish. Talk to me. You never talk to me. What do you think this relationship is going to? Are you really serious about it? I mean I can't take it any more Jishnu, I can't. I can't live by your schedules. I need time with you. I need your decision now. I need closure. Do you want me or not Jish tell me" she shouted spitting fire at him.

Jishnu turned to her threw his hands up in the air and without saying a word turned back and resumed his work. His obsession had reached all heights and he could no longer come out it even if it was for sex.

Divya turned and just walked off.

The next day she officially broke up with him and also with the company. She took almost half of the team with her. They joined her and started a new company soon to be a bitter competitor. Then came the downfall of Jishnu’s empire but his Kingdom of Obsession was still intact. He soon diversified and acquired other small enterprises which did not perform well and soon he started incurring losses. Still he continued to plan, continued to make schedules and time tables. He was still optimistic that one day he'll be successful and he needed planning and more of planning for the same. His trusted team members had already abandoned him. He had forgotten Divya and her love completely. She was only a competitor for him.

Divya on the other hand still loved him but she had also turned into a bitter rival. She threw up some of the worst challenges at him. It became evident that it was because of her business ideas the app actually thrived in the market. She became top businesswomen of the time.

Jishnu was running bankrupt and with his every move, every decision he was losing friends and money like tumbling dominos. In no time he was at the verge of being nothing. He was rock bottom. He had reached the end of the curve. For any optimistic person this meant that there was only one way go; upwards. Jishnu was optimistic but his optimism was filled with his arrogant ego and arrogance came out victorious in this fight.

Having lost his house to the Bank Jishnu moved to his old shabby house. The house required a little bit of cleaning, but he did not bother. Soon this house became his den of obsession. By then he had lost his mind but somewhere in that very brain of his he knew that he had done a mistake by letting Divya go. And from then began his futile attempts to get her back. Just as he had made the short term and long term goals for bringing up his company he started devising plans to get Divya back in his life. A plan was drawn, schedules were made; it seemed the 24 hours were not enough for this activity. Jishnu planned to get Divya back in his life by applying mathematics but he forgot that he was working with an abstract idea he was working with emotions and at this moment he was missing exactly that.

The books on his desk were not enough to jot down a plan and so he used the charts. When even that was not enough he used the walls. The walls were filled with diagrams, geometric structures, tables and pictures of his and Divya’s taken during the happy times. But it was all missing one thing; the solution to his one major problem; how to get Divya back in his life?

Jishnu had worked out all possible options and there was only one option left now. He had to make schedule for that too.

“Oh what a bunch of crap. This feels as if it is been copies from a melodramatic movie. It just doesn’t stop” Vivek was feeling disgusted with the book. Still angry that he was not able to place his hands on any memorabilia and muttering abuses to the friend who had suggested the book he threw the book on the bed.

Vivek had read 90% of the book and still no luck with the memorabilia; only pile of shit over shit. His stomach started growling and then when he looked up at the clock her realized that he had read for 5 continuous hours. It was 11 pm. “Gosh… how could someone read this shit for 5 hours” he muttered.

He was hungry and needed sleep. He decided to call it a day. He had one more day to finish the rest of the 10% of the book and then worry about how he’s going to get the memorabilia. Ordering room service he fixed himself a drink and gulped it down in one go and then fixed another. “God what a shitty weekend this is” he cursed. “Hope at least the climax of the story is good and hope I live another week by finding the memorabilia” he prayed.

By midnight Vivek had a nice dinner and prayed that his sleep was dreamless. But the Gods won’t listen to his prayers.

Vivek was expecting a sleep filled with nightmares like the previous day. Though it was not dreamless night but the dreams were pleasant.

He dreamt about how Jishnu had worked out a brilliant plan to meet up with Divya, get her on a date and convince her that he was wrong and from then on everything he does will be for the future of their relationship. They meet up and patch –up their relationship and

Jishnu rejoins the company.

Vivek was happily reading the book not bothered about the memorabilia for the first time. He was actually enjoying the romantic storyline though romance was not his cup of tea. He had somehow turned this bullshit story into an interesting one.

Just then his phone buzzed; the alarm went off. He looked at the screen with the sleepy eyes. It was 8 am and this was the last day of the weekend. He had to finish the remaining 10% of the book; which he could finish in half an hour and then worry if he still could not lay his hands on any kind of memorabilia.

Quickly getting off the bed Vivek got into the hot shower. He had ordered a heavy breakfast and had some time for a warm bath. If this was his last day he planned to make the most of it. The hot water almost burnt the skin on his back. He cursed as he recoiled and adjusted the water. The hot water had made him wide awake now and he was staring blankly at the flowing water thinking of how to end his life. Off course he knew the answer to this question but somehow he had lost the courage to executive it. He made a small prayer though he was not a believer. A prayer for not an escape from this madness but rather to find the memorabilia or rather to find the courage to end his life he could not get any.

Testing the temperature and being satisfied he got into the shower. The warm water trickling down his naked body bringing back the memories of the happy times he had in his life; the happy times with his family and friends, the happy times with his children but more importantly the happy feeling he felt when he pouched a memorabilia and labeled it. The doorbell brought him back from his reverie. It was the room service. He quickly wrapped himself with a towel and ushered in the waiter, tipped him and sat down for his breakfast.

The brisk breeze from the sea was soothing his bare chest. The sea was calling at him. "Not today" he wished to replay, but he was not confident about the same.

With the warm water bath and heavy breakfast Vivek was in a fresh mind to resume the book. The time was 9.30 am and he decided to read the book nonstop. He wanted to finish the book memorabilia or not. That way he would get some time later to worry about it and make his final decision.

Jishnu was happily pasting pictures of suicide on the wall on the only bare portion left out on the left side of the room. There was the noose, vial of poison, a jump from the building, fire and many other options available. He was busy breaking his head to find out the best and easiest way. He could not fail at this last task.

If it was the noose the rope should be strong enough to carry his weight and not too strong least his head gets ripped off. If it was poison; he wanted to go the quickest way possible. He didn't want to be a spit gargling purple lump at the end. Sleeping pills will do; he thought. You will be in sleep and you never know when the death came to you. No no that's a myth. Death by sleeping pills is not peaceful. Your heart pounds like hell, you can't breathe, you are in and out of consciousness and you die of suffocation. Ultimately you choke to death and no one wanted to be choked to death. And if you somehow survive you will have to live the rest of your life with brain damage. "No way".

Suddenly he felt the noose was the better choice. But he had to consider a jump and the fire. Fire seemed even worse than sleeping pills. Imagine you entire body burning bit by bit slowly your hair burns to crisp and your skin fried like the KFC chicken. The tearing skin and curdling fat mixed up with the clotting blood forming a meat pie. And while all this is happening mercilessly slow you scream at the top of your lungs; at least till they have oxygen in them. " bruuh not a good way to go" she shuddered at the thought.

A jump; well what do we need to consider for a good jump which will guarantee death. A right jump at the right place and at the right time will ensure quick death. Though, it should be a jump from a building or off a cliff. Not off a bridge into a lake; water is as bad a fire. And the jump should be from a considerable height which ensured no survival.

"Remember it's not the fall that kills you. It's the landing" he quoted a dialogue from the series “Sherlock”.

"Right I have made my decision. A jump it's going to be." he decides.

Now all he had to do was execute the plan. Make a schedule, make a time for the jump; oh he had plenty of it, decide from where to jump and to ensure that there won't be any survival.

Jishnu took 2 days to plan every move. Obsessed with planning that he was he had all intentions of making this plan a success. It was decided that he will end his life the next day at 9 pm in the evening from a jump from the same office building that made him successful. The jump from the terrace of the building will certainly prove fatal and there won’t be any chance of survival.

With his plan in mind, Jishnu went to sleep happily after many days. The plan was fool proof.

The next evening at sharp 9 pm Jishnu was requesting the security guard to let him in. The guard was surprised to see him as he had not turned up after he had left the company and that had been for a long time. Jishnu made an excuse that he had forgotten something and has to go to the office block urgently to get it. The guard believed him and let him go; after all he was the previous owner of this company.

Just as Jishnu was off the sight he quickly moved towards the staircase leading to the roof. It was a 9 storied building and from here he could see a portion of the city. The bright lights of the city had dimmed the glitter of the stars. He didn't need to worry about that he would soon join the stars.

Walking towards the edge of the roof he looked down. His legs were trembling with fear. But he had to finish this last task of his life. He removed a piece of paper from his pocket. It was his “To do List”. Suicide at 9 pm was the only thing pending in it. He looked down at the miniature people moving about in their cars and then retrieved a picture of Divya, kissed it and held it close to his heart and then ticked the check box against suicide on the “To Do List”. Smiling that he had done everything as planned he jumped to his death; all the while repeating to himself. "It’s not the fall that kills you. It's the landing"

The end.

The book was read and there was no memorabilia. When Vivek closed the books he was under shock fanatically repeating to himself. “It’s not the fall that kills you. It's the landing". He kept repeating it like a mantra. He was trembling with shock. He didn't expect the story will end in such gruesome manner and he knew his life was soon going to end the same way.

A splash of water on his face did not help he needed alcohol to get him in position to take control of the situation. Time to fix a drink and then decide what to be done.

The wall clock said its 1 pm. Thanks to the heavy breakfast he was not hungry. "Let me nurse a drink and then think of lunch" he decided.

The sun was throwing hot flames at the balcony but the sea equally blowing cool winds. Vivek badly wanted to get the book out of his system. He sat on the chair relaxing his mind, feeling the breeze on his face. Forgetting everything about the book and sipping the drink.

Eyes closed the only sound he could hear was of the waves splashing against the shore. It took time for him to get back to his senses and it also took 3 more drinks.

It was 3 pm and he was famished. He was back to normal now. The rum had helped him sooth his mind and gave him the appetite.

After lunch Vivek mustered the courage to pick the book. He had to find the memorabilia by the next morning. “No need to worry, plenty of time for that” he said to himself.

He decided to check the book thoroughly. He went through the book page by page. A thread, a feather, a needle, a leaf, a drop of blood, a drop of ink; nothing could escape his sight today. He had to find it at any cost.

It was a paperback book, no hardcover jacket. Nothing could be hidden in the bindings or in the cover. If there is something it should be in between the pages. He went through the pages twice, thrice; nothing to be found. At least nothing physical for sure. So he started looking for a mark, a pencil mark, an highlighted line of phrase; no luck there either. Then he suddenly remembered an article he had read. He had read that a piece of chocolate chip was wedged against the cloth on the spine of a 150 year old book. He checked there too; no luck there either. With frustration he threw the book on the floor half expecting something to fall off through those pages; no luck there either. His obsession was going to take his life today. His kingdom was going to come to an end.

He needed a fresh mind to start over again. A drink will not help, he needed sleep. But dreamless sleep was a luxury let alone deep sleep without any nightmares. But he had to sleep.

As expected he had a very bad nightmare. The sea had convinced him to jump off the balcony, the ground was eager to meet him, to embrace him in its arms. Vivek was falling towards the ground all the while repeating the lines; "it's not the fall that kills you. It's the landing". "Yes it's the landing" the ground beneath was repeating his mantra now. He met the ground with a thud and woke up all sweaty.

It was 9 pm and he had slept all through the afternoon, though he did not feel rested. His brain was still singing the song of death “it’s the landing"... “It’s the landing".

Opening the balcony door he stared blankly at the sea. It was dark and he could see the bright city lights around. Just like in the book he noticed that the glitter of stars was dimmed by the bright lights of the city. So much of similarity between his life and the book. “An incredible coincidence” he said. And likely the similar ending to both the stories.

After spending moments of staring at the sea he finally got back and picked the book for a final attempt to find the one memorabilia to fulfill his obsession.

It was 10.30pm still no luck. He had lost his appetite. Whatever he eats will be the last thing he eats; the thought killed his hunger. He had gone through the book 10 times already and he was certain that there was nothing in it. He had to make a decision soon. Time was running out and he was too scared of the nightmares to go back to sleep.

The decision was already made to jump off the balcony and meet the ground beneath. "Should I write a note?" a question started disturbing him. "No, Jishnu didn't leave any note. If their stories were similar they should end the same" he decided.

"Should I call someone before going? Should I call my wife, my kids? No that would weaken my resolve. I have made up my mind. That landing is going to end my life." he reconfirmed his resolve.

His resolution was strong at the moment and he could not afford to wait any longer. Waiting might make him weak and he could not live with himself if that was the case. So he opens the balcony and clutches the book close to his heart he decides to jump. "The jump will not kill you. It's the landing that kills"

As he was standing on the edge of the balcony ready to take the leap the ground beneath was calling him. He wanted to flutter through the pages; a last useless attempt to find something. And then suddenly as he was fluttering through the pages he actually found something. His eyes brightened with surprise. How did he miss this? He had already gone through the book at least 10 times but it was hidden right in the front in plain sight. On the insides of the paperback cover there was a business card neatly pasted upside down, with the blank side facing up.

Vivek quickly got back inside and switched on the bedside lamp. His body was still shaking. The near death experience and the excitement of finally finding a memorabilia were throwing a mixture of emotions at him. Drawing a pocket knife from his bag he carefully released the business card from the cover and turned over and was surprised to see what was on it.

It was the suicide helpline number and the address of the Psychiatric counc

ilor. Wow what a coincidence. Just what he needed at this moment. But that was no all. Just below the doctor’s address the following lines were written.

"I knew you would need this. Don't quit".

There was nothing else. He was confused. Was this for him or is it for someone else who had read the book earlier? Was this from someone who knew about his obsession? Few people knew about his obsession, but that doesn't mean he was suicidal. No one knew he was suicidal. Maybe it was for someone else and that someone else had not seen it. But it had helped him. It had helped him save his life and now he knew what to do when he could not find any memorabilia; call the suicide helpline and hope that someone will help him.

His obsession with books and memorabilia will still go on. Nothing can stop that. He was feeling like the Lord of the Kingdom of His Obsession now.

Closing the book he pouched the business card and labeled it neatly. Then placing the same in the file he dives down on the bed for a peaceful dreamless night.

The End.